This is why I moved...

So, ever heard of a Toshi Party? I got this email last Thursday:
...our corporate sponsors very much liked your look and
would like to meet you in person to assess your personality.
here's the job description and compensation ($500-$1,400/nite)...
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tfr/123065398.html
your interview, megan, has been scheduled with Ms. Brit Schey.
please come Tuesday 1/17 between 8pm-10pm to...
The Puck Building between 8-10.
...champagne reception and refreshments will be provided.
just dress casual upscale. be yourself and have fun, megan.

I had to think a while about this one, and finally decided it wouldn't hurt to go see what it was all about, seeing how I could use the money. Ugh, that's such a lame reason. So I go to the venue, which is atop an NYU building. There are students riding the elevator to the second and third floor, bitching about classes, etc. It's not a dorm I don't think, because I can see when the doors open, there are administrative offices on the floor. After we pass the third floor, I notice what "type" of person is left on the elevator. Let's just say, the IQ level dropped several points after the NYU students got off (not that it was all that high when they were in the elevator ha ha I made a joke about stupid NYU students.) So we ride the elevator to the Penthouse Skylight Ballroom. There's a man with a clipboard at the door. All the girls walk right past him but any guy trying to get in had to be on the list. Remember in that email where it said "your interview has been scheduled"? The "interview" was a giant casting call basically. However, there was a bouncer at the door of my "interview" = intriguing-sketchy.

Toshi was standing at the door handing out "applications" and telling people, "Fill this out, and if you have time go get your photo taken by our photographer while we wait for people to get here. In the mean time help yourself to a drink from the bar and relax!" Ok, great, I hang up my coat. We're in the ballroom, which is set up like a small party: a few tables in the center of the room, a DJ spinning trancey stuff (...), a bar with shirtless bartenders(?!), and oh look the photographer is taking photographs...of topless girls.

(sidenote: In the job description link, there is a flyer for the party. I didn't read the whole thing...which said "Toshettes and Toshi-dudes earning Mardi Gras beads the old fashioned way" . I read that when I got there. Uh, duh.)

So yeah, there is a line of girls waiting to get there photo taken. When they get to their turn, all of them uncomfortably turn away from the room and embarrassingly take off their tops. Hil-fucking-arious. In my opinion, if you're gonna go there, you best be doin it with pride. Don't be all embarassed about it, it makes you look that much more of a retarded ass for even doing it in the first place.

So I am taking this all in as I'm filling out my application and there is a list of things on the app that you can apply for, bartending, cocktail waitress, bodypainting body, onstage performance massuese, singing (describe:_____), dancing (describe:_____), Go-Go dancer, and coat check. As I am looking around the room and realizing everyone at the party must participate in the Mardi Gras tradition a la Girls Gone Willd, I was trying to decide how the hell I was going to fill out what kind of dancing I would be willing to do. I described my dancing as such:

"I am amazing"

at that point I started laughing out loud at how ridiculous this whole situation was and walked out the f'ing door. I was there for about 30 minutes.

Maybe, just maybe, if I had boobs I would have stayed. I'm not a prude, I've been in and loved every nude second of Hair. But the environment was flashing every warning sign it could reading "Someone is going to have a case of queludes at this thing, and you will wake up with some new damned form of VD if you stay."

Thursday's Proof: Booze and Boobs does not a Mardi Gras party make