Obligatory Post on Thoughts and Feelings About Valentines Day

I don't know if I was ever a romantic. I think, in theory, I may have been at a very early point in my life. I think Disney did persuade me to think of being in love as a magical adventure. But after Valentine's Day after V'sDay of not getting that special someone to admit they loved me, or having someone to admit to that I loved them, I think I started down the road of skeptism. No, I think I started down the road of "Lost Emotion" where one has the potential, but no one to practice on.

While I'm thinking of it, you are reading this because you are probably my friend, and I'd like to tell you that I think you are awesome and that you deserve as much love and caring as you can handle. Happy VD. What a weird holiday.

Eventually I took a turn on the road of Skeptism. I had a Valentine in 7th grade. I didn't believe in it then, I thought "I am going through the motions right now, I have a valentine and we don't even hold hands. This is stupid. This is really really dumb." I didn't believe in it, even when I didn't know what skeptism was, or that it could be a trendy view on life. (Thanks Jeanine Garafolo, you beautiful alt rocker). Someone once told me that I had no understanding of love and that would never know what love is. Now, I don't think that's entirely true, because I love the hell out of my family and friends. I really do. I appreciate every SECOND I have with them. But I think the person may have been right about that other kind of love, that homogenized packaged kind that involves two people and their "hearts." Which makes me think I am currently on the cross roads of Skeptism and Confusion.
I say confusion because I don't understand the need for that special some ONE. I feel a much greater need for those special people I call family. This coupling off thing just seems to divide and conquer all my best friends. Not totally, but it changes things from the way they were. And I probably liked them the way they were. But I'm dealing with it. I just don't get it. Besides the sex thing and the constant companion thing, I don't understand it.
Maybe I'm just a scaredy cat when it comes to rejection. Maybe I have impossibly high standards. Maybe I'm just too focused on my current love affair. Maybe I'm trying really really hard to not dwell on my last.

Now, if you are one of my dear friendster's you may think the reason I say confusion is because my profile says "Interested in Dating Women, Friends." I would just like to point out that it also says that I live in Bolivia people, and that I belong to a company called "Benjo Doko" which, translated from Japanese, means "where's the bathroom?" But people seem to stop on "dating women" and are pretty easily persuaded that I'm a lesbian...
I've decided that makes me a metro-sexual lesbian style. a Metslass. which is funny 'cause I live in New York and enjoy baseball. kinda.

Maybe I hate this day because of it's unoriginality. Obligatory affection Day. WEEE!! Yes, it's obligatory Romantic Affection Day. It seems to be the opposite of Romance by making it obligatory:
Romantic: Of, relating to, or characteristic of romance.
Given to thoughts or feelings of romance. See Synonyms at sentimental.
Displaying, expressive of, or conducive to love: a romantic atmosphere.
**Imaginative but impractical; visionary: romantic notions.** Not based on fact; imaginary or fictitious: His memoirs were criticized as a romantic view of the past.
often Romantic Of or characteristic of romanticism in the arts.

See obligatory just makes it stupid.
The best valentines day gift I ever got was a roll of electrical tape and a pair of socks with feet in them. and they were days late. and I loved them.