6 Size 9's

Admittedly, I should do more than just think about getting a real job. Since getting back from Texas, I've been working less and less catering gigs and have had more and more time to just hang out in the city. That translates into more time to spend money which is unfortunate because I'm living on a smaller budget than usual. I am making it work and for the rest of this month I'm hoping to stay freelancedly bohemian. Among many of the survival techniques I've adapted, I've set my homepage to the freestuff page on Manhattan Craigslist so whenever I connect to the internet I have access to a plethora of priceless goods and services that people want to part with in Manhattan. Here's an example of one of the treasures I've found so far:

100 Free empty beer cans
Date: 2006-07-31, 1:01PM EDT
Party is over. Come and take these beer cans out of my house. Clean, rinsed.
Upper East Side, 96 & Madison. 4 flights walk up. Maybe more than 100.


MAYBE MORE! That's like stealing! What a deal right? So, that's awesome. Here's another, it's my favorite:

Bananas in Pajamas doll -- FREE (East Village)
Date: 2006-08-13, 10:47PM EDT
Bananas in Pajamas doll - it's a classic! Good condition. If you squeeze its hand, it still sings a song, in a charming Australian accent.


It has a photo, until I figure out how to get it up on the Hap, just imagine. It sang a song! Look at the time this one was posted. Yeah, we all know what this guy was doing when he posted such an amazing item. I really wanted it though, just so I could show people the add, and then the real life doll. However, this douchebag gave it away before I could get to it. COME ON! He gave me his phone number! I could have been a stalker. And for what? So that you can back down on a sweet banana deal? Lame.

Anyway, being that I am poor-ish, I haven't chosen to do laundry for ...a while. So instead of doing laundry, which would cost the price of doing laundry (as well as buying detergent and sweating half my bodyweight while doing it...augh), I decided to head to Target to buy underwear which would cost me the price of buying underwear. (Plus the added bonus of retail therapy in Target.)
I love Target. It reminds me of home, both of my old homes, South Dakota and Minnesota. It smells amazing in Target doesn't it? I love it. I love all the stuff they put at the end of the isles for half price (I might be the cheapest person I've ever met.) and the Target brand Archer food and the option of buying quite literally everything I need in one stop. LOVE IT. I don't care if I end up going down every isle, which I normally do. It's a given that during my trip I'll walk down the childrens toy aisle thinking, "Did I need something from this isle...I can't remember what I came here for but it could very well be down this isle...I better walk through as slowly as possible and look at everything on the shelves."
LOVE IT.
I was in a hurry during this last trip because of circumstances having to do with me being a total idiot and getting on the train going the wrong way. So I ran in, sped past almost every section (the shades needed a looking over) and went to get undies. They were on sale, oh joy! I SWEAR I grabbed two packs of undies, one boycut and one bikini. (I really REALLY don't understand thongs. I go with nothing if the situation calls for it. Let's face it, thongs are pointless and painful.) After finishing my quick and cheap trip, I returned home with a grin and sense of post-coital-like satisfaction.
The next morning, after putting everything away and looking at the receipt, I realized in my hurry, I somehow ended up with only one package of undies. No big deal, I had this for now. I unrolled one pair, one pair of GIANT underwear. We're talking the granniest of granny panties. Knowing my ass(SURELY!) doesn't look like that, I stooped down to look at the packaging material, and there was my answer. It wasn't a package of size six cute bikini's, it was a package of 6 size 9's.

Since then, everytime I pass my mirrored closet at night when going to bed, I answer my bohemian-cheap-white-baggy-undie-assed reflection, "and I'm worth it."