Guy Smiley Does It for Me

I was flipping through a trashy magazine this morning and saw a picture of the talk show muppet and thought, "God, why can't he be a real person?"
I would totally date Guy Smiley.

For some reason, Guy strikes me as a Canadian, which I don't hold against him, it might even add to the allure. Foriegn guys do it for me. Why do I think he's Canadian? It must be his irreverant sense of humor. He's a little bit cruel and a lot ambivalent to all of his contestants, barreling through each segment and just getting the job done, completely ignoring his contestants' protests. Canadians get the job done. If he had a Scottish accent, I would totally let him get the job done with me all the time, no questions asked. Scottish accents do it for me.

Guy did make some appearances that didn't have anything to do with his hosting career. When Cookie Monster was in a bakery chewing up items that rhymed with the word "pie," Smiley came in announcing he was "Guy Smiley, star of daytime television." At this point, Cookie couldn't remember that it was a pie he was after, and the repeated use of words that did rhyme with "pie" did nothing to jog his memory. The scene ended with him chasing Guy around the bakery, trying to eat him. But Guy, being the athelete that he is, was able to escape unharmed.

Which is good, because I don't think I could date a guy with a bite taken out. Bites taken out don't do it for me.